


Oh to see how strong you've become.

by idcallmyselfhuman



Category: Ender's Game - All Media Types
Genre: Ender and Valentine are only mentioned, Gen, Peter is hella ooc, violence isn't all that graphic i just added it just in case
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:46:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26831620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idcallmyselfhuman/pseuds/idcallmyselfhuman
Summary: Having years of fixing and destroying the abusive child he was, Peter reflects.
Relationships: Ender Wiggin & Peter Wiggin, Ender Wiggin & Peter Wiggin & Valentine Wiggin, Ender Wiggin & Valentine Wiggin
Kudos: 9





	Oh to see how strong you've become.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I am in no way "excusing" Peter. His actions in the book were cruel and unforgivable. I do not support the narrative that people should forgive their abusers out of the "kindness of their heart." Even if they changed, that doesn't erase their actions and the damage they've dealt. To forgive someone or not is only a choice the person who was wronged can make.

Peter thought of his little brother.

He thought of the things he's said and done— the promises of pain he was all-too willing to keep behind a mask of mockery for both his siblings.

He would excuse his past behavior as not knowing what to do during his age. That his negligence had been caused by his lack of understanding. How he processed things were better now, he would promise.

Yet deep down, he knew.

There was another cold feeling that settled in his heart now. It was no longer the icy hold of cruelty that had influenced his actions; that had taken hold of him during his time in Battle School. No, this was a feeling of dread. A sudden pang of guilt and pain of what a mess he's made of his little brother. How instead of being his protector, he had made himself the enemy.

He knew he could never be his warmth. No, that would be Valentine, his darling sister, who had held their youngest sibling whenever he tried to break him, too focused on his anger— the reminder that he was never good enough so they had to try a second and third time.

He thought of being his shield instead, the good and perfect brother Ender never had. But years of hardships has made his brother stronger than he will ever be. He didn't need a shield anymore.

If he were still his ten-year-old self, the child that chose violence over all, the child who hadn't been given the treatment he needed, he knew he would be outraged by that fact. He would've bashed the scathed boy's face in, all the while mocking him for his very being, uncaring for whatever he's faced.

Had he been the boy he was a few years ago, before the therapy and isolation, he would have thought to be proud. Proud that someone related to him could hold that kind of strength.

Hadn't he known the depth of the pain his little brother had to go through to gain that strength— had he been ignorant to the torture he must've gone through that he felt the need to be as strong as he was now, then maybe he would say he was proud.

But all he could feel was his heart shattering for him. He felt it aching before it cracked under the pressure of guilt and shame, the loss of having him around instead of space, away from them.


End file.
